I recently had the opportunity to hear Angela Bauver share a bit of her testimony. Angela is a member of our healing prayer team at Cornerstone. Nigel Mumford has said that she is the future face of healing prayer in the United States. She was kind enough to give me a transcript of her words. Enjoy these excerpts and may they bring you hope for your own healing.
If you missed either of the Angela series you can check them out here:
Over the past year I have learned why I was in bondage. I have also learned that God is the only one who is able to bring me through. He will do it so that his name will be glorified. I am an oak of righteousness; a planting of the Lord!
Joyce Meyer writes in her book, Beauty For Ashes, “the bad fruit comes from somewhere.”
When I was in the thick of my depression I would read God’s word desperately looking for answers but all I found was guilt and shame because I was facing myself which is never acceptable in God’s sight. I had to come to the truth that God sees Jesus when He looks at me. So as I read the Scriptures that name the types of people who will not inherit the kingdom of God: those who are filled with jealousy, those who are filled with anger, greed… I would recognize many of these things in my own life.
I knew inside I was filled with bitterness and anger towards my biological family… how I grew up. I knew I was filled with jealousy. I was filled with fear. I was judgmental, critical and negative. I blamed others for my problems. I was filled with rejection and abandonment (from others and myself). I was even self-righteous!
I knew I could never measure up. But when I began to walk through the healing prayer ministry sessions, God began dealing with my wrong mind-sets, my broken image of God, my expectation for perfection in myself and others and the self-hatred I carried from my early childhood.
…You see, rotten fruit comes from rotten roots. I have learned that I will never be able to behave right if my roots are bad no matter how much I work on it. But today there is hope for me and for you in Christ Jesus. We can be uprooted from the bad soil of our lives and be transplanted into the good soil of Jesus Christ. this is not a work that can be done by our self-discipline. It has to be done by God with his grace. his Spirit comes in and digs up all of our bad roots and literally plans new ones. God is not afraid of the mess in our lives or of helping us through the painful circumstances of life. He is not disgusted by the things that come up in us and out of us. The process is beautiful.
My roots were of shame, rejection, abandonment and abuse. My bad fruit was negativity, critical judgment, self-hatred and much more. My mentality was “What’s wrong with me?” Because of that I was constantly confused and filled with inner turmoil.
October 2011 marked the beginning of my journey towards wholeness. Today I am completely uprooted and replanted in the good soil of Jesus Christ… the soil of acceptance in Jesus and into the good fruits of the Holy Spirit. I stand on Hebrews 12:2…God who is the Author and finisher of my faith will finish what He has started in me. He will bring it to completion!
Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.
2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” Isaiah 43:1-2