Angela’s Testimony

crying eyeI recently had the opportunity to hear Angela Bauver share a bit of her testimony. Angela is a member of our healing prayer team at Cornerstone. Nigel Mumford has said that she is the future face of healing prayer in the United States. She was kind enough to give me a transcript of her words. Enjoy these excerpts and may they bring you hope for your own healing.

Angela says:

I am appreciative to stand before you and declare this simple truth: God first desires us to be saved. Then He wants to heal us from all trauma, sickness, pain and grief.

The Bible states that we are new creations in Christ Jesus, the old has passed away and the new has come. But that newness is a process of allowing God to deal with our baggage of disappointments and hurts.

It was Oct. 6, 2011 when I had finally had all I could bear. I couldn’t push down the grief, shame or sadness from my past any longer (of course at that point I didn’t even know it was from my past). I was seriously afraid for my sanity. I had walked through six months of extreme depression. Every night I put the kids to bed and I would lay in my bed trying to pray; Most times I couldn’t even speak words but if I could get something out it would sound something like “God please help me!” I tried to worship and praise but it was just a feeble attempt to do what I thought I should do to have break-through. I tried rebuking the devil. I tried rebuking my feelings thinking this must be the enemy coming against me.

When I read my bible I felt so guilty about the way my life was that it caused me to feel worse. I felt condemned by God through the Scriptures because I knew the standard we are called to live up to. I tried everything. Nothing helped. Then the lies started to creep in. I believed most of them: “You’re not a Christian”, “You’ve lost your salvation”, “God is very disappointed in you.”

I’ve learned that sometimes we walk through hard places in our lives and it is NOT THE ENEMY leading us into those dark places. Sometimes it is God leading us. The enemy may think he’s taking the win for the moment, but God ALWAYS wins. Because God’s love and desire for wholeness in us is his greatest concern, He allows us to walk through dark places of suffering. He actually leads us there, because He knows in the end we will be whole and we will be free! blessings 2In those places do not fear. We do not walk alone. Our God goes before us. We walk with the Lover Of Our Souls. I wish I had known at that time that it was God that was leading me down the broken road, because I would not have waited until the pain of where I was was actually greater than pain of changing my life…

Have you ever walked through something like Angela did? What did you do?

Come back for Pt. 2 tomorrow!

Passion: Held Hostage By Pajamas

    “I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They do not belong to this world any more than I do.Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth. ” John 17: 15-17 NIV

     A sign outside one of our local churches reads “No matter how you feel, GET UP, DRESS UP AND SHOW UP!”

     That is an excellent suggestion for so many, like me, who have come to love their beds more and more as we see the evil days approaching.

     My bed feels safe. I can crawl in under the covers and hide from the world. Just by putting on my pajamas sometimes I feel (if only fleetingly) like I am setting up an impenetrable force field against that enemy I feel crouching everywhere outside my door. My goodness! I want  that force field to stand for good and separate me permanently from the world. Some days I want to go in my front door and never come out again.

     Now some of us need a good nap. Some of us really just need to go home, throw on our jammies and relax a bit. But others face a temptation to never leave the pajama state. Some of us are held hostage by our pajamas or  by the fear that caused us to put on our pajamas in the first place. We have become escapist in our living. Our theme song has become “Let the world go away.”

   The only problem is, Jesus never prayed for us to be released from the world. In fact he said “I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one.”

     Apparently, God never intended for us to hide away and act like the world didn’t exist. The idea that we are safe in our pajamas is just a child hood fantasy. Staying in bed is no more a cure for depression fear or trouble than eating McDonald’s is a cure for heart disease.

      The cure is in being made holy and coming to know God’s Word experientially. Brother…Sister let me tell you that can’t be done in your pajamas! If the world seems a little scary and you are facing the temptation to become a hostage to your nightwear the only cure is to GET UP! DRESS UP! AND SHOW UP in the power God gave you the day you told Jesus He was Lord. Never fear. Somehow He will keep you safe from the Evil One.