You Choose the View Pt. 3

     What did the deep black waters see

      Before they found me?

       Were they sent?

       Did they decide to melt

       From some mountainside

       To come tumbling down into my life?

       Am I just the lucky one?

       Maybe it’s all three.


       What did the deep black waters see

       Which made them come to me? 

     Did they flow

     To the call of God above?

     Did they choose to help my cause?

     Will they wash away the black

     Deep in me?

     Every change gives us an opportunity to check what’s going on inside. With God the internal trumps the external every time. God’s more interested in our holiness than He is our comfort. In fact, He will often arrange a little discomfort to bring out the attitudes which really dwell inside us…the ones we try so hard to deny until they pop out in some moment of stress and become undeniable.

     Our circumstances are not our main problem. How we respond on the inside to our circumstances, that is the primary issue at hand.

    In your current set of life-changes ask yourself:


  1. Is my attitude through this change pleasing to God?
  2. Do I blame my attitude on my life? If so that has to change. You not your circumstances should control your attitude.
  3. What is the real reason I feel the way I do? Most circumstances only bring an already existing attitude to light; Where did yours start?
  4. What are some steps I could take to change my attitude even before I change my circumstances?

Here’s to change!

Killing Judgy

     You have heard about my sarcasm bone, but have you met my alternate personality? I call him Judgy and every once in a while when my ire is up he comes out.

     For most of my life I was unaware of his existence. I really thought I was a sweet person. Then I started writing.

     I have come to know this Judgy character pretty well as I have reread my drafts. You may think my wit is a little biting in print…but you should see the things I don’t publish!

     The pieces that don’t make the cut have titles like “Sorry or Just Plain Sad”  or the piece I was working on today “Until It Happens To You”. I got the blog finished. Then I proof read  it and said “Oh surely not!” I trashed it realizing Judgy had struck again.

     It’s not that I totally disagree with him, mind you. Sometimes Judgy makes good points; It’s the way he makes them that leaves a little bit to be desired. Just an aside, anytime you read a blog and things around you begin to spontaneously combust, it’s probably not a good thing.

     So Judgy has to go. He must be assimilated and his more vitriolic qualities must be done away with. I want to speak the truth but with love alone. I suppose he’s not just going to keel over dead tomorrow though. So if everyone once in a while Judgy pops out please accept my apology in advance!

If you had an alternate personality what would it be called?

Passion:The Betrayer, Betrayed

          Perception may not be everything, but it sure weighs heavily on how men live their lives in this vale of tears.

     I have often wondered at the strange phenomenon, in the Christian world, we call back-sliding. How can a person who has truly experienced the love that Jesus brings leave off the walk of faith? Some of my friends say that anyone who back-slides never really knew Jesus to begin with. I am not sure I buy that.

     Judas knew Jesus. People can say all they want about how Judas only had a head knowledge and not a heart knowledge of the master. Certainly, by the end  that was true, but to say Judas never knew Jesus… was never a follower, that just might be supposing too much. Didn’t Judas leave everything to follow Jesus like the other disciples? Wasn’t Judas used to cast out demons and cleanse the lepers too? Now I am not saying that Judas was ever a fully devoted follower of Christ on the level of James, Peter or John, but I wager he would have given most of us a run for our money in the “intimacy with Jesus” department.

     I don’t think Judas started out as a Satanic sleeper cell in Jesus organization. So what happened? How did someone who started out enamored with Jesus become the Messiah’s foil?

     It’s just speculation and perhaps we will never really know but I think it might have something to do with perception. Something had to change in the way Judas viewed Jesus.

     I think Judas joined the Messiah’s band of merry men because he thought he had found Israel’s Savior. As I have said before, to the Jews of the time there were certain expectations they had of the Messiah. Jesus in their understanding was to take David’s throne and build an earthly kingdom. When the displays of God’s power began to shoot forth from Jesus fingertips Judas probably revelled in the certainty that at last Israel was going to rise to the top and the rest of the world was going to get theirs.

    But there were cracks in this Messiah’s castle walls at least according to Judas’ perception: Jesus wouldn’t build a political base by making nice with the political powers of Israel; His preaching was radical he said things…many things that made even his followers edgy; He flew in the face of convention and tradition; He talked with women and let them touch him; He was good to foreigners and even performed healing for the Roman oppressors at their request. We can’t be sure when it happened but with some certainty we can say there was a point when the betrayer felt betrayed. Maybe it was a “slow fade” as the song says. Maybe the feeling built up over time. Maybe Jesus’ rebuke of Judas in John 12 was the lit match that set fire Judas’ fury. Something in Judas’ perception convinced him that it was time to act. Judas decided Jesus needed to be stopped.

     I have known many back-sliders. I’ve even dabbled in the art of back-sliding a bit myself. I know my own back-sliding had to do with my perception  that God was unfair…that He wasn’t doing a very good job with my life. Most of the people I have known who have back-slidden have done so because they saw something else in life that looked better to them than Jesus. One man commented to me  that at the time his memories of all the miracles he had seen were removed from him. He was left with a  perception  that God had never done anything in his life. It was only after he came back to God that the memories were restored. 

       When we give room to the feelings of bitterness against God that Satan would inspire within us we are walking a slippery slope. Look, there are moments all of us feel  abandoned or hurt by God. Feelings aren’t sin. They are indicators of internal struggle. Judas’ feelings of betrayal or anger or hurt weren’t sin. They were indicators of his internal faith struggle. The decisions, mind-sets, and actions he based off those feelings, those were sin. Judas should have turned to the word of God to lead him. Anyone struggling with their mind-set towards God needs to turn to the Bible for guidance rather than their feelings. We have to live by principle these days not by “how we feel” about things. Judas chose to live by his feelings. In the end the betrayer betrayed himself as well as the Savior. Jesus recovered in case you don’t remember the end of the story. Judas never did.

What struggles do you have with your perception of God? What are you doing about it?