I recently had the opportunity to hear Angela Bauver share a bit of her testimony. Angela is a member of our healing prayer team at Cornerstone. Nigel Mumford has said that she is the future face of healing prayer in the United States. She was kind enough to give me a transcript of her words. Enjoy these excerpts and may they bring you hope for your own healing.
I am appreciative to stand before you and declare this simple truth: God first desires us to be saved. Then He wants to heal us from all trauma, sickness, pain and grief.
The Bible states that we are new creations in Christ Jesus, the old has passed away and the new has come. But that newness is a process of allowing God to deal with our baggage of disappointments and hurts.
It was Oct. 6, 2011 when I had finally had all I could bear. I couldn’t push down the grief, shame or sadness from my past any longer (of course at that point I didn’t even know it was from my past). I was seriously afraid for my sanity. I had walked through six months of extreme depression. Every night I put the kids to bed and I would lay in my bed trying to pray; Most times I couldn’t even speak words but if I could get something out it would sound something like “God please help me!” I tried to worship and praise but it was just a feeble attempt to do what I thought I should do to have break-through. I tried rebuking the devil. I tried rebuking my feelings thinking this must be the enemy coming against me.
When I read my bible I felt so guilty about the way my life was that it caused me to feel worse. I felt condemned by God through the Scriptures because I knew the standard we are called to live up to. I tried everything. Nothing helped. Then the lies started to creep in. I believed most of them: “You’re not a Christian”, “You’ve lost your salvation”, “God is very disappointed in you.”
I’ve learned that sometimes we walk through hard places in our lives and it is NOT THE ENEMY leading us into those dark places. Sometimes it is God leading us. The enemy may think he’s taking the win for the moment, but God ALWAYS wins. Because God’s love and desire for wholeness in us is his greatest concern, He allows us to walk through dark places of suffering. He actually leads us there, because He knows in the end we will be whole and we will be free! In those places do not fear. We do not walk alone. Our God goes before us. We walk with the Lover Of Our Souls. I wish I had known at that time that it was God that was leading me down the broken road, because I would not have waited until the pain of where I was was actually greater than pain of changing my life…
Have you ever walked through something like Angela did? What did you do?
Come back for Pt. 2 tomorrow!
Angela’s testimony is such a blessing. We are so blessed that God does not give up on us we are the ones that give up on Him. Some of my darkest days were when Tom first started with seizures at age 3 and then another dark time was my divorce. I wasn’t saved when Tom’s seizure began and so I thought why did God make him sick, why God? I would cry a lot because honestly I thought I was going to lose my son. The enemy whispers so many lies in your ear that you actually start believing some of them. I became saved one year after Tom’s first seizure and learning about God I realized that God did not make Tom sick. God wants to heal him. What got me through those dark days with Tom and my divorce was praying and seeking God constantly as well as having others pray for us. I spent many of nights crying out to the Lord but reading the Psalms over and over would confirm that I was not alone in this. In essence, God became my husband, the spiritual head over Tommy and I. I’m so glad He did not give up on me. Praise God!
Amen Deb! Yours is a testimony of triumph in the midst of trouble. God has used you as an inspiration to me!
And you to me!
watching you at church is such an inspiration.
Thank you Tammie!
>> “Have you ever walked through something like Angela did? What did you do?”
It is a very long story, but trying to be brief – I had three extremely abusive ‘fathers’ but at 22 years old I became the adopted child of my loving heavenly Father and I also discovered that not all men were evil, as I had thought.
22 years after becoming a Christian I had the opportunity to go back to England and ‘meet’ my biological father, of whom I had little recollection, but in spite of all the bad reports I desperately wanted to meet – and he totally rejected me.
On return I started to think of someone I had shared with in ministry for a number of years as my substitute father. I was friendly with his grown children and loved to hear of their earlier family life. We worked very closely together in ministry for a total of about 20 years when newcomers to the Church caused trouble and a division. The devil won a victory for a time and my friend turned against me. I was devastated. It was as though all the previous abuse had surfaced and increased.
Then in the very early hours of one morning, as I cried out to the Lord for deliverance, He took me in His arms, led me through much of my childhood, giving me understanding of many events, and healed me. My relationship with my friend was restored, but I no longer looked on him as a substitute father, for my loving heavenly Father was fulfilling all my need in that area – and still does, many years later.
We serve an incredibly amazing Father God who delights to bless His children.
This is another powerful testimony about the healing our wonderful God can bring. Thank you for sharing it Angela!
Thank you for visiting my blog today. I appreciate the time you took to stop by. May your day be filled with joy and peace.
BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!
Thank you for the blessing. I am looking forward to hearing more from you!